Found out my $5 estate wine opener is worth $300.00. Then I found out that most of my $5 wine has a screw top.

Let the fireworks start.

What's the best color to paint my home office?

The hardest part of working nights are the birds in the morning. And I do not have a bird feeder.

How guys get ready for a guys night out... Put on clothes then go out. #GuysNight

Since when did Third grade math get so hard. Maybe I'm just tired.

At what age do teenagers stop talking incessantly? My ears are starting to bleed.

Is it wield to sit out front of our house at night and look at our house?

Got my new Bates boots today. Not from the gun shop where normaly I get my boots, but from Amazon.com. Is that weird?

Praying Mantis tip: When keeping in a classroom make sure you have a lid. Other wise you get a bunch of little one all over the room.

"I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country." Nathan Hale #MemorialDay

Happiness is a round pool.

Not a single cop insight in Roscoe Village. #NATO

Roscoe Village garage sales. I'm sure I was brought alone as a pack mule.

Holding my own #NATOChicago protest in my back yard. Protesting not going downtown.

Why is it when you drop one child at camp you would think you would get half the talking. Now it seems to have doubled.

More cops than tourists on Michigan Ave.

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers that make our world a better place. #MothersDay

Another successful day of not falling off the roof.

Why is it every time I get ready to clean the gutters does my wife get out the life insurence papers.

Two mile run done, or walk as some might call it.

#Question: Does whip cream count as a topping on pizza?

Split pea soup, perfect for a fall day. No, wait...it's spring in Chicago.

Wow! Short film "The German" http://ping.fm/2eAJC

Why is it when your car is making a funny sound, it never fails to stop making the sound the moment you get to the mechanic.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." -Benjamin Franklin

1940 USA census is now online:
http://ping.fm/avrMQ

It's "Just Dance" night at my house. Looking for more booze.

Cleaning up my yard for #EarthDay.

Wearing my hazmat suit today. #SickKid at home.

Seeing stars tonight. Answered yes to the question; "Do I look fat in this outfit."

When nothing is going right, turn left.

The hardest experience to learn is failure. #MSIBot #Botball

Time for Chicago first Batball Challenge at Museum of Science and Industry.

It's Friday the 13th. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Travel back in time Chicago. #Photos http://ping.fm/SFIDk

Everyone is a little crazy. Only the insane think they are not.

Home sweet home.

Made it safe and sound to the @PeabodyMemphis. Just ahead of the storms.

Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver.

Let drive home begin.

Rain, rain go away, I just want to play today.

Love waking up in Texas and hearing all the different birds and owls.

A little disappointed in Texas. Not a tumbleweed in sight. I've seen more people packing guns in Chicago.

Let the adventure begin.

Three types of internet users: Creator, Consumer, Complainer. #WhichAreYou?

Call 855-GETWGN9 and tell #DirectTV "Keep my WGN!" Time is running out. Call Today!

Welcome to my Hell: Shoe shopping for little girls shoes.

Some left these weird books on my door step. They are called phone books. #WhatToDo

Getting my Irish on. Watching The Boondock Saints.

Major police presence on Peterson ave. redirecting traffic. Get off before western and California.

We need old laptop to be donated to the Nash Botball team. Please help. DM for more info. Thanks.

Building robots for Botball at Daley Academy.

Taking the wife for her Birthday dinner at Rockets.

Hope all my friend a safe and fun time at #SXSW. Maybe one of these years I will make the trip.

Walking down Michigan Ave listening to Rasputina. How music makes the city come alive.

Trying to get my kids to leave the playground is like getting a politician out of my wallet.

The crew at #Google Chicago rock. Thank you Nash Ballbot team.

 Hiding out at @fatheaddesign and @tonyafathead.

Dinner with friends at home is always nice. Cooking my Agava Salmon.

Family fed, full, and ready for bed. #FamilyNight success.

Went to sleep it was Winter. Woke up and it is now Spring. It gives new meaning to #LeapYear.

City sleeping: http://ping.fm/LYGcF

Reading: The Why Cafe by @JohnPStrelecky http://ping.fm/d0m01

Serene before the storm. http://ping.fm/rkfUB

#LessonLearned: Money dropped on Michigan Ave in Downtown Chicago wont last long. I didn't have time to even get a picture. #Gone

Sorry my Fault. I took the shovel out of my car. http://ping.fm/V3UD7

The answer: Shameless on Showtime. http://ping.fm/H9g45

I got asked; "What is the TV show with the drunk Irish guy with the bunch of kids. It's on the Cable channel that starts with an S."

Leviton Media center. Done http://ping.fm/cCj1T

Let the People know the facts and the Country will be safe. #Quote #AbrahamLincoln #PresidentsDay http://ping.fm/7hjNb

DSL modem is down. #Att sending me an email about the quality of their service. I'll get right on that when I grave the Internet back up.

I have Girl Scout Cookies. I have the power of sweet goodness.

I was going to wear just a big red bow. Might be a problem when I have to go to work. #ValentinesDay

Watching #Hoarders with a neat freak. My weekend will now be spent cleaning everything.

I don't believe in elderly abuse. But, I'm thinking about punching old man winter in the throat.

In bed by 8:00pm. How sexy is that?

Looking for bandwidth in all the wrong places.

Crashing TribU Social Media for Business. Great job! @Tracysamantha

Watching #Glee. This is how my family enjoy #SuperBowl Sunday.

No brakes on car means I'm not going anywhere fast, or stopping for that matter.

How do the blind find an Emergency Box? http://ping.fm/w20FN

New tools make me happy.

Turtle races. New Johnson family holiday tradition. @ReddSmitty

Today I really miss my #Jeep. #Snow

Wiring the house for cable, phone, and Internet. A wired home is a happy home.

Waking up Yelling at the kids that they late for school. Only to realize no school today. Happy b-day #MLK Back to sleep.

How to make little girls cry? I threaten to take the Internet down if homework is not finished.

30 seconds of snow http://ping.fm/bOPPs

Wearing all white. So you can't see me in the #Snow.

Let it snow. Let it snow.

We don't learn just by doing or just thinking but we learn by thinking about what we're doing. #Author Unknown

Some people have skills and there are those that are skilled. http://ping.fm/q6Qok

I'm in big trouble. My cat is wondering where the hell have I been. #Wiped